Baby Bird
by RoseLight
Summary: Will he break the law or break her heart?


BABY BIRD

_-The phone call-_

"BJ? It's Margaret."

He was not surprised. Margaret seemed to be handling all of Hawkeye's social obligations lately. "Hey, Margaret, how's it going?"

"Oh, swell. Yeah. Terrific. Y'know. Fine." She sounded tense, as if she might fall off the edge of a pause. "BJ, I need some help."

"Anything, you know that," the former MASH-mate agreed amiably.

"Right. Good. Uh…I have a friend-she's in trouble. She needs a referral."

"Well, sure. I'm just a little surprised, though. I thought you and Hawk knew every doctor-"

"No! I mean, it can't be anyone we know. This requires the utmost discretion."

"What kind of specialist does your friend need?"

She shook head impatiently at men's utter lack of perception. "GYN" she hissed.

"Oh." It suddenly dawned on Hunnicut what the mysterious friend's problem might be.

"If you're asking me what I think you're asking me, you know that's illegal. "

"State laws have exceptions, health of the mother, 3 doctors' signatures…I'm not asking you to do it, for God's sake, just drop me a name, someone safe."

"For your friend."

"Yes, of course."

"Besides being illegal, it's wrong. Unethical. 'Do no harm', remember? Our duty is to preserve life, not destroy it."

"But you'd be saving two lives, at the sacrifice of one. Like triage," the pitch of her voice raised.

"Your friend might be having problems now, but she's got months to adjust, for things to change. Think of it, Margaret, a brand new life. A fresh start, a blessing, even." He took a deep breath before continuing gently. "I know you and Hawk have been having problems."

Across the miles he could hear the sob catch in her throat. "Oh, BJ, you don't know," she fought then to keep her words calm and flat. "He hasn't worked in months. There was an incident…He doesn't get out of bed, doesn't eat, doesn't talk. I cope with his dreams and screams all night, then drag myself to work in the morning and pray to God I don't endanger some patient because I'm sooo tired. I drag home and don't know who to expect—sad Hawk or angry Hawk—or even which one is worse. No matter what I try I can't help him. I can't help him, BJ," her anguish throbbed across the phone wires. "Sidney Freedman's been consulting with his doctor here. They're considering electro-shock," she whispered in defeat.

"God," he was appalled.

"For better for worse, in sickness and in health," she vowed mechanically. "He needs me. All of me. I can't take on anything else now."

"But maybe that's just what he needs, a reason to get well, a reason to go on. New life surrounding him, instead of dreams of death. I know he'd try-"

"Of course he'll try. And when it's born and he can't handle it, who do I give up then? I can't abandon him to his demons, I can't. I won't. And what happens to it then? Can I leave it on your doorstep?"

"You keep referring to 'it'."

"That's the only way I can get through this."

"He'll never forgive you, you know."

"He'll never forgive himself, if he knows."

"You're exhausted now, stressed and frightened. This is not the time to make decisions. Your judgment-"

"Dammit, Hunnicut, are you going to help us or not?"

"Look, Margaret, I'll fly out on Thursday. I've got a few bucks to tide you over, I'll bring some of Erin's old stuff, a cradle, a carriage, but I can't-"it killed him to say it, "No, Margaret, I can't give you what you're asking of me."

"Hunnicut, you sanctimonious son of a bitch. Forget I ever called. Forget I ever asked you to compromise your holy medical integrity. And while you're at it, forget our number!" He caught the sob before she could hang up. "Don't worry about our problem; accidents happen, y'know."

_-The Visit-_

It hurt to move, but she was curious to know who had entered her hospital room. "Oh, BJ. God, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too, Margaret. How are you?"

"Forget how to read a chart?" she attempted a smile, nodded to the foot of her bed. He reached for the clipboard, scanned it, hung it back up. He came straight to the point.

"Why isn't Hawkeye here with you?"

"I'm sorry they called you and you came all this way. Thank you. It's scary to be alone sometimes," she murmured. "They kept insisting I fill out next-of-kin.."

"Where's Hawk?" he repeated.

"Sidney. Sidney invited him to visit Easterbrook. It's lovely, really, very peaceful. All those lush green trees, and the squirrels—and all the nuts."

"You should've called me," he said, half-scolding, half-hurt.

"I'm sorry, honest. The way we left things last time..."

He finally moved closer to her bedside, took her hand. "'Accidents happen'?" he quoted.

She turned her head away, embarrassed to meet his eyes. "Couldn't afford to crash the car, so I just walked into traffic."

He tried not to show his horror. "Maybe you and Hawk should book a suite at Easterbrook."

"You were right about my judgment. Solved the dilemma anyway "

"I'm sorry."

"No, you don't understand. As bruised and battered as I am, the little one is still with me. By the time I'm fit for elective surgery, I'll be past the first trimester. And if Baby Bird fought so hard to survive, how can I deny that chance?"

He leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. "If you weren't so black and blue, I'd say you're radiant."

"I want Ben back." Tears glimmered in her eyes. "I want Hawkeye home, whole and healthy and happy as possible. But if that can't happen-"

"Y'know, I like Baby Bird better than 'it'."

finis


End file.
